So, just a disclaimer: My life is super predictable. Aaaaaaand I'm pretty much a Luddite.... Yep. That about sums it up.
My darling friend D convinced me it was time to get on ''the internet'' (whatever that is). She has a blog and I can almost promise you it will be more interesting than this one.
Reasons why D is cooler than me:
1) She is not obsessed with Lucy.
2) She has a new fish named Salvador Dali, a belated birthday gift from yours truly.
3) She has a lot of tattoos and most of them involve birds. Let's face it. Birds are great.
4) She is a always doing dorky things, especially in front of high ranking persons of influence (to which she quips, 'that's true').
5) She insists 'I'm not cooler than you'. That does wonders for the ol' ego. Thanks, D. I feel good about myself.
6) She says I'm funny and she will read my blog.
7) She joins me for the girliest of girly dates.
8) She is making me eggs Benedict and I want to roll around in the Hollandaise sauce for all eternity. Amaaaazing. (Upon reading this she proclaimed, 'Oh, so now I am making YOU eggs Benedict!?' - UH, SORRY TO PUT YOU OUT SO MUCH, GOSH. But seriously, I'll make them).
Okay. I have to expound on #7 there because our date was the mother of all girly dates. Imagine, if you will, a blustery April afternoon...
As per always, I was late leaving my house in Metchosin, a small sheep farming village, population 30*, where everybody is 80 years old and everybody has a dog. Seriously. Somebody wrote a book about being dogless in Metchosin. Being so far from the big city, I often forget important things. For instance, I forget that there is such a thing as other traffic. I also forget that this traffic congests around 5pm. As per usual, I was fashionably late picking D up from work. BUT THAT WAS OKAY! For once, we were ready at the same time and I didn't look like a dick. She'd been held up at work and I was pretty much thinking 'oh thank heavens I'm not a colossal dick this time' for longer than necessary. Then, she got in my car and we drove to THE PET STORE. Didn't see that coming, did you? Did you? No.
Enter Salvador Dali. Salvador Dali is a blue and red Siamese fighting fish. He's interesting as far as fighting fish go, which really just means he's inherently boring and we overanalyze every movement he makes as interesting and intentional. Dali was a belated birthday gift to D from yours truly and I wish them many happy years together.
Once Dali was comfortably situated in the cup holder of my car, we were off to the grocery store to buy all things delicious. At the grocery store, there was an absolutely HORRIFYING fish on display. Just....laying there in a bed of ice all pink and gross and wide-mouthed. I wasn't entirely sure it was real so, being incredibly investigative, I poked it in the eye. WELL IT WAS SQUISHY AND DISGUSTING AND EVERYTHING MOVED. That fish was definitely real. WHO PUTS AN ENTIRE DEAD FISH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SUPERMARKET? Seriously, guys. Who does that? It wasn't even for sale, it was just surrounded by pineapple tops in some creepy little ice shrine.
Moving on before I vomit.
We cooked all of the things, which you can examine more in depth in D's blog.
THEN WE DREW THE CRAP OUT OF SOME MUGS.
THEN WE PAINTED OUR NAILS.
THEN WE CRIED OUR FACES OFF.
We were, of course, watching Pride and Prejudice. You can't really watch anything else when you're having a girly date as girly as ours. I. LOVE. Mr. Darcy. Just...yeah. Long, wistful sigh. I've also decided Keira Knightley has the longest neck in the history of the planet.
I've failed to mention that we ate about forty kilos of candy because I would like to get out of my first blog post with some semblance of self respect.
All in all, a fantastic date. We capped it off with a sleepover of magical proportions. In the middle of the night, my dog forgot that D was here and starting growling and barking her face off. You'll get very familiar with my dog, Lucy, as she's pretty well my life.
Fast forward to morning. We're wearing our forever lazy pants, drinking delicious new tea out of our fancy new mugs, singing along to whatever invites singing along, and loving life and everyone in it.
Now, please take a moment to refer to #8 on the above list. We're frickin' hungry. I'm going to go poach the crap out of some eggs and smother them in ALL THE SAUCE.
Until next time, stay inspired.
(Maybe I could edit this some time?)
